There’s a reason they call them bitches

My dog the hussy

Sometimes, I like to watch my dogs to get an idea of what they’re thinking.

Mika is a hussy.

She’s the kind of dog to stick her tail in male dog’s faces (even though she’s fixed) and drag them all around town with a come-hither flash of her blue eyes.

The only dogs that have ever been able to resist her are Dax (probably because she raised him from a pup) and Audie, my friend’s dignified, glorious English Shepherd.

Every other dog is game.

Recently she’s set her sights on poor Phoenix, and he’s toast. Total toast. Phoenix is a sensitive, earnest, humble fellow who loves to please, get his feelings hurt, but works really hard to help others (hence why he’s a service dog in training).

He’s been making quiet overtures at her for weeks, so when she finally accepted, it was all lovey-dovey for a couple of days – they’d lay on the floor and jaw-wrestle, flirt, and run and play tug . . .

And then Mika decided she wanted to fuck with him (because he’s a pushover).

First, he’d come up to her and try to initiate play, or give her little kisses, and she’d growl and snap. Then, she’d start actively pushing him off spots, claiming them for her own or simply making him move just to make him move. She wouldn’t even lay there after he was gone.

She’s stare until he gave up a chewey. And then she wouldn’t take it.

The next day, she’s upped the ante, and totally ignored him. Walked off if he came up to her. Snubbed him gloriously. He was heartbroken, and took up laying on a piece of floor someplace and staring forlornly at her.

Then today, she’s back to playing with him, kissing him, laying really close. Phoenix is, of course, totally bewildered at this point, but grateful for the attention.

I think my dog is an abusive woman.

I may have to have a talk with her. I’m an MRA fer chrissakes!

I guess there’s a reason they call them bitches.


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